Speak Your Self-Love Language

Valentine's Day is upon us, and my thoughts are turning to love, self-love that is. No idea how to show yourself the kind of love you crave? Developed by Gary Chapman in the 1990s, "The Five Love Languages" are archetype preferences for expressing and receiving romantic love: Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, and Words of Affirmation. As an Integrative Life + Wellness Coach, I believe these unique desires correlate to one's relationship with self as well. I've developed the 5 Self-Love Types to translate Dr. Chapman's archetypes into our own language. Start by taking the official Love Languages quiz. Then read on to find out how to start speaking more love to yourself, not just on Valentine's Day, but all year round.


The 5 Self-Love Types

  1. Me Time. If your Love Language is Quality Time, schedule regular Me Time. Do a hobby you love. Read that book your BFF recommended. Watch a movie you've been wanting to see. Take a nap. Go on a solo hike.

  2. Pampering. If your Love Language is Physical Touch, indulge in some Pampering. Get a massage or main/pedi. Do an at-home spa treatment like an avocado + honey face mask or soak in a Himalayan salt bath. Wrap yourself in a weighted blanket.

  3. Treating Yourself. If your Love Language is Receiving Gifts, Treat Yourself. Buy yourself flowers. Pick up that new hardcover mystery in your favorite series. Snap up those cute earrings you saw on sale. Treat your feet to a pair of cozy slippers.

  4. Positive Reinforcement. If your Love Language is Words of Affirmation, give yourself some Positive Reinforcement. Journal about your proudest moments. List the qualities that you love in yourself. Write a story about what makes you uniquely you.

  5. Lightening Your Load. If your Love Language is Acts of Service, find ways to Lighten Your Load. Hire out some help around the house. If coupled up, ask your partner to take a chore off your plate. Barter with a friend. Spend some time organizing or batch tasking for the pay-off of saving time later and on an ongoing basis.


To learn your Love Language, take the official quiz at The 5 Love Languages. Then download this infographic guide for tips to express your love - to and for yourself.

5 Self-Love Love Types
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